Banana Cafe

Our friend Budak is one of our favorite dining companions. He introduced us to Teaism and Julia's Empanadas, and for that we will be forever grateful. However, Budak has hit a bit of a rough patch with his restaurant suggestions: Malaysia Kopitiam, Liberty Tree, and Wok N Roll to name a few. It has become a running joke, yet we love him and still let him guide our dining choices since we figure we'll at least get an adventure out of it. On our last outing, we picked him up in the pouring rain and he proclaimed we were headed to Banana Cafe & Piano Bar. Leave it to Budak to find a piano bar/Cuban/Mexican/Puerto Rican restaurant.

We sat in the downstairs area (the piano bar is upstairs) and took in the bright, almost garish, decor. Our waitress delivered a basket of decidedly average chips with watery salsa, and asked if we wanted to order drinks. Feeling festive, we decided to share a pitcher and the waitress said that they serve great mojitos. Unfortunately, we took her word for it. What followed was what B described as the "single worst drink I have ever had in my life."

The giant pitcher was filled with perhaps 65% sugar water, 30% unpleasant-tasting rum, and 5% of completely unmuddled mint and unsqueezed limes. It was so off-balance and so indescribably bad, that B pushed away his glass and asked the waitress to come over. He explained that something tasted really off with the drink and she stared at us blankly and asked what WE wanted her to do to fix it! Baffled, we suggested perhaps she add more lime juice or try muddling the mint. She took the pitcher away, brought it back with some more limes thrown in and left us to taste it. It still tasted as terrible as it did the first time and we left the pitcher almost completely untouched as we ate our food.

The mojito from hell has dominated my memory of Banana Cafe so much that I barely remember the food. However, I believe I had the Puerto Rican Piononos - an interesting combination of sweet plantains stuffed with ground beef and pork and topped with cheese. I liked it fine and the portion was big enough to save half for lunch the next day. However, as I sat at my desk eating reheated piononos, I could not shake the taste of the mojito and the wacky way in which the waitress handled it.

B, still rattled by the brush with mojito darkness, ate seafood paella that he described as fine but nothing memorable.

At the end of the meal, the waitress came to clear the plates and saw the giant, untouched pitcher o' mojito and said nothing. Never an offer to bring us something else or reduce the price or have us talk to the manager or the bartender. We were stuck with a $38 pitcher of undrinkable liquid and a story to tell our friends. The whole thing was so awkward and uncomfortable that we just paid the bill and hustled out of there.

I suppose if I were trapped on Barracks Row and every single other restaurant was closed and I was about to die of starvation, I would consider going back to Banana Cafe. A bit dramatic? Perhaps, but you didn't try that mojito! On to the next Budak adventure...

Second Thoughts From B

An open letter to J: If we are dying of starvation on Barracks Row and our only choice is Banana Cafe, you're welcome to eat me, because I will happily pass on the meal.

The mojito was that bad. Completely undrinkable. So far off that I still have no idea what went wrong, much less how to fix it. Less motor oil perhaps?

As far as my paella - which incidentally, also came highly recommended - it was also memorably poor. It wasn't inedible and in fact, it didn't even taste bad. Rather, it was remarkably average. It tasted like 3 day old reheated leftovers. Or maybe lukewarm dehydrated camping food. To be fair, I love leftovers and am tempted to stock my pantry with Mountain House products, but this is not what I'd hope for at a reasonably nice restaurant.

Fortunately for all of us, Barracks Row is hardly a wasteland of dining options. Spare yourself the pain and $38 and go elsewhere.

Bobby's Burger Palace - Redemption

Almost immediately after posting about our disastrous experience at Bobby's Burger Palace, we received an email from one of the company's top brass asking if he could chat with us on the phone regarding our experience. I was impressed by the follow-up and agreed to talk to him the next day.

After nearly 30 minutes on the phone, I was pretty blown away by the seriousness with which our blog post was handled. Not only did Bobby's Burger Palace see our post, they shared it with Bobby Flay and then proceeded to send it to the entire company as a memo so that the "failure on every level" that we experienced would not happen again. Instead of getting defensive, they took action.

Despite my assurances that the situation had been rectified, BBP insisted that we come back, meet with the General Manager, and try another meal on the house. They did not ask us to take down our negative blog post (not happening) nor did they ask us to write this follow-up blog post. Who are we to turn down such a mea culpa?

We returned to BBP last week on the same night of the week as before (Thursday) smack in the middle of the dinner rush. We met with Garth, the GM who admitted to being mortified by our blog post. Garth is determined to make sure that his staff is firing on all cylinders and his enthusiasm appeared to be wearing off on his staff. While we were well tended to by Garth, we kept a very close eye on the other tables to see how quickly they were cleared and how quickly food was served. We did not observe anything like the catastrophe that we experienced previously.

Wanting to get the best possible taste of BBP's menu, we asked Garth to order us his favorites. For me he chose the L.A. Burger (funny since he didn't know we're from L.A.) and a coffee milkshake. While coffee is not a flavor I'd normally order, the milkshake was outstanding. Like our last experience, the shake was thick, creamy, and showed no signs of artificial flavors. The L.A. Burger was piled high with avocado relish, watercress, cheddar cheese, and tomato. I don't know what the difference is between avocado relish and what we Californians call "guacamole," but it was the same idea. The burger was a perfect medium rare and served piping hot which made a world of difference from the sad, soggy burger I experienced last time. Thanks to Garth, I knew to add a dash of the jalapeno hot sauce (provided on the table) to give the burger the famous Bobby Flay kick.

For B, Garth selected the black and white shake (fabulous) and the Bobby Blue Burger with blue cheese, bacon, lettuce, and tomato. In his lifetime, according to my highly scientific survey, B has probably ordered 3.42657 skillion blue cheese and bacon burgers. Garth nailed it when choosing a burger for B. After B happily devoured his medium rare (not medium well) burger, he proclaimed it one of the better renditions of the combination that he's had. The bacon was crisp enough to hold up in the burger, but not so crispy that it shatters into pieces or cuts your mouth. The beef was seasoned so nicely that B ate several pieces plain and said he'd be happy having it served on a plate, steak style. B got the shortest end of the short stick on the last BBP visit so I was thrilled that he was having a BBP lovefest on our return engagement.

Because Garth was intent on giving us a true taste of the menu (and a coronary), he brought out regular fries, sweet potato fries, and onion rings. The onion rings, when served hot, are noteworthy. The fries, though much better hot than lukewarm (as they were last time), are still not making my heart sing. I like them when dunked in one of the many dipping sauces, but I think calories are better spent on the burgers and shakes.

So, would we go back to BBP when we're paying for it out of our own pockets? For me, the answer is yes, not only because I was very impressed by their desire to right their new ship, but I also liked the food when I didn't have to wait an eternity for it. At this price point (burgers less than $8), I think the variety of toppings and quality of beef is hard to match. I stick by my original rant and maintain that Bobby-freaking-Flay should be held to a higher standard. Thankfully, on his second at bat, he rose to the challenge.

Second Thoughts From B

Call me impressed, but not for the reason you think. Yes, I appreciated the free meal. Yes, I thought it was a huge improvement over the hockey puck I ate previously. Yes, I'll admit that it was nice to get my ego stroked a little. But, I was most impressed by the sincerity and seriousness in which the entire organization took our feedback.

No blog, much less this little production, could make a dent in the Bobby Flay culinary empire. After all, he is arguably the most recognizable chef on the planet. You would think that the guy could slap his name on a turd sandwich and it would sell. (That theory was put to the test by the show America's Next Great Restaurant... and failed miserably)

But my point is that our feedback could have easily been ignored or dismissed, and BBP would have done just fine. The fact that they cared so much (to the point it was almost uncomfortable), probably has a lot to do with why Bobby Flay is Bobby-freaking-Flay.

With all that said, unless you're an Iron Chef judge, you'll probably not receive the careful, individual attention that we were lucky enough to enjoy. It is a fast, casual burger joint after all. So what are my expectations when we return to anonymity? First and foremost, I think it is fair to assume shakes that rival any in the city (Good Stuff Eatery setting the gold standard). I'd also expect onion rings, that when served hot and fresh, are in the conversation with Z Burger's rings of deliciousness.

As for the burger, the range between hockey puck and patty perfection is rather vast. I've seen the potential, now I'm looking for consistency. And the fact that I'm willing - even enthusiastic - to figure out if BBP can deliver, is a true testament to a great organization.

Truckeroo: Feelin' Crabby, PORC, and Sabor'a Street

Have you ever wished that all of the fun DC food trucks would gather together and park in one spot so you can try them all? If so, Truckeroo is for you! Truckeroo is a monthly food truck extravaganza held next to Nationals Park. Admission is free and the trucks are serving alongside live music and beer booths. They control the crowds entering (we had to wait about 30 minutes to get in at dinner time), but it is still not for the people-averse. Come prepared to get close to your neighbor.

A bit overwhelmed by the dozens of trucks and zillions of people, we decided to split up, grab food from different trucks, and meet back at one of the picnic tables in the center of Truckeroo.

B headed over to Feelin' Crabby. This truck wins points for its fun design, but was there any substance behind the style?

Feelin' Crabby serves a crabwich: jumbo lump crab, mayo, and Old Bay mixed together and served on a Kaiser roll with lettuce and tomato. The crabwich is $11 ($4 cheaper than its lobster roll cousin at Red Hook Lobster Pound). The crab was plentiful and not drowning in mayo, but I missed the butter-toasted buns that my favorite lobster rolls are served on. The roll didn't add much except that it made for an easy vehicle to get the crab in our mouths in record time. If you forced me to choose between the lobster truck and Feelin' Crabby, I'd ask you how long the lines are. Feelin' Crabby had a 2 minute line while the lobster truck's line stretched into Maryland. In a hurry? Go for the crab.

While B procured the crabwich, I got in line for the PORC truck.

PORC stands for Purveyors of Rolling Cuisine. They offer a rotating menu of specialties including BBQ and gourmet sausages. Despite what the name might suggest, they serve more than just pig products. I decided to stick with PORC's pork and ordered the pulled pork sandwich with their hot BBQ sauce. I was pleased to see big meaty chunks in the sandwich. Sometimes overzealous pork pullers turn the meat into something resembling confetti. Not so with the PORC truck. The hot sauce was HOT so don't get it if you don't want some mouth burning action. The people in the truck were ridiculously friendly, and happily and quickly replaced two sandwiches that a customer accidentally dropped on the ground. High five PORC dudes.

Our buddy Ace (after ditching the crazy long Takorean line) stuck it out at Sabor'a Street.

Ace was kind enough to share her bounty of tacos, arepas, and plantains with us. This was by far the most flavorful and complex food of the night. You could tell me this came from Oyamel and I'd believe you.

Truckeroo sound like something fun to you? The thought of 25+ trucks serving food put you in a happy mood? Fear not fair maiden, for Truckeroo Four is coming in one week more. September 30th is the date, so grab your friends or your mate!

Second Thoughts From B

Usually I'm drawn to people and things that are diverse and complex. I like versatility and balance. I love fusion and admire compromise. The more multidimensional the better, right? My bike is a hybrid, my car is a crossover, and my job is at the intersection of two divergent fields. So it would stand to reason that Truckeroo - with its multitude of eclectic culinary options - would be my own personal heaven.

The problem is that a parking lot of 25+ food trucks is absolutely overwhelming. Putting aside the mass of humanity, the number of trucks is paralyzingly large. If you find it hard to select an item from a scoped menu, this might be a nightmare rather than a dream.

One of the things I enjoy about the food truck concept is that these people specialize. They have a handful of items that they make extremely well, so customers really can't go wrong. But that's only if you can narrow in on a single truck.

Walking in I felt like a judge on the Miss America pageant. The problem wasn't that I couldn't find a winner, it was that I had to select 25 losers. And what if I got it wrong? Would you like a side of fries with your anxiety, sir?

Chances are that you are not as neurotic as I am but the point is this: find a large group of friends and attack Truckeroo family style. Divide and conquer so you can get a little taste of everything. Either that or Valium.

DC: The Game

It is no secret that J and I like scavenger hunts (see exhibit A, B, and C). Combine competition, problem solving, hidden neighborhood gems, and historical facts, and we are all in. Thankfully, DC is also all about scavenger hunts.

Recently, we were offered an opportunity to test drive DC: The Game by Stray Boots Scavenger Hunts. This text message-based neighborhood adventure is "an interactive scavenger hunt that shows people the best of their city using their phones." Currently, versions of the game are available in several major cities around the U.S.

DC has three versions of the game to choose from: Georgetown, the Smithsonian, and the one we played, Penn Quarter. Normally, the game costs $20 per person (currently on sale for $12), but we were able to play for free.

Starting at Ford's Theatre, we spent the next hour and a half (for people less familiar with the area, 2-3 hours is recommended) wandering into shops and museums hunting for the clues that continued to attack our cell phone as if they were coming from a 13 year old girl.

So first and foremost, did you have fun? Yes. Without qualification, it was a nice way to spend a summer afternoon.

But did you learn anything? Yes. While we could answer many of the clues off the top of our heads, several took us to places that we had never been. Who knew there was a full-sized underground museum attached to the Navy Memorial?

Would you do it again? Probably not. At $20 a person (though it seems like a group can share clues on a single cell phone), this is a pricey adventure. When free smartphone apps like SCVNGR contain more features than any text-based hunt can, it seems to be a curious business model. And at that price point, you are now competing with the various tour bus companies in DC.

Would you recommend it to others? While DC: The Game is a decent product (ignoring the couple inaccuracies and glitches), it is competing with products that seem to be better values. Also, for DC locals, it might be too elementary while out-of-towners might get lost. The sweet spot is probably the folks who live in the area but don't make it to downtown regularly, but I don't see them driving into the city so they can play a $20 text-messaging game... But what do I know?

J says

I can play this game too! Let me add a few questions and answers...

Do I need an unlimited texting plan? Yes. We didn't pay enough attention to the fine print on the website and were pretty taken aback when we sent or received 99 texts to play the game. Find a friend who has an unlimited plan before you sign up.

Is there a time limit?No. One of the unique and fun things about DC: The Game is that you can play it at your own pace. You can make a leisurely day of it and stop for lunch or browse a museum during the game. Definitely a much more relaxed feel than the uber-competitive games we've played in the past.

Did you get all the answers right? Not on the first try. It took us two guesses to answer "Who was the youngest president to take office?" We assumed "take office" meant "elected" and we were wrong! The game gives you a hint when you're wrong and lets you try again, so you don't run the risk of getting booted out of the game before you've completed the whole thing.

Whether you try DC: The Game or SCVNGR or something else entirely, we wish you happy hunting!