Hogs on the Hill

Does this sign look familiar?

If you're like us, you've probably passed the sign a zillion times heading down New York Avenue on your way to points north.  We finally decided to stop the car and see if "DC's Best Hickory Smoked Pit BBQ" is anything worth stopping for. 

Hogs on the Hill is a take-out only establishment with an uber-thick plexiglass window separating you from the cashier.  The hickory smoke smell was amazing and it's a good thing we liked it, because it followed us all the way home.  The menu is straightforward: BBQ and sides.

B ordered a half rack of pork ribs (I don't think they had any other kind of ribs).  They offer to keep the sauce on the side if you're one of those sauceless types.  Since we're a saucy pair, we asked them to slather it on.

I got a sampler plate with ribs, chicken, potato salad, mac n' cheese, and corn bread.  This massive amount of food was $9!

For about $20 and 10 minutes of our time, we got a ton of piping hot BBQ.  Yes, it was cheap and fast, but was it good?  I wouldn't say it was the best BBQ we've ever had and it likely wouldn't impress a bona fide BBQ expert, but it was solid.  The ribs fell right off the bone and we liked the slightly-sweet/slightly-tangy sauce.  I actually liked the chicken better than the ribs, but I'm a sucker for a tender BBQ chicken.  I've had better mac n' cheese, but the potato salad had a great vinegar bite to it.  If you're driving down New York Avenue and you're hungry, I'd venture to say that Hogs on the Hill is the best you're going to do.  Skip the Wendy's, McDonald's, and the Checkers (did you know that in CA the Checkers are called Rally's?) and make a turn onto Bladensburg Rd. for a pit stop for cheap and plentiful BBQ.

Second Thoughts from B

If you haven't seen the Hogs on the Hill sign "a zillion times" as J says, that must mean you've got your eyes on the road instead of craning your neck around for the latest and greatest option for lunch.  That's ok, we all have our roles in life and mine is to drive safely.  I guess that is what makes me and J a great team.  

So when J instructed me to take a sharp turn off our route and into a small parking lot behind a gas station, I was more than a bit curious.  Then I opened the car door and was hit with that wonderful smell of BBQ.  I immediately knew J had done well.

BBQ to me is about the BBQ.  You can have the potato salad, mac n' cheese, and corn bread.  While you're at it, keep the knife and fork too.  I want to bury myself in smoky, succulent meat that is falling off the bone with sauce that gets all over my hands and face.  It is a primal experience and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

This isn't a time to be dainty or proper or calorie conscious.  I don't want to analyze things Iron Chef-style.  I want to eat and be satisfied.  By that measure, Hogs on the Hill shined.  Quick, cheap, surprisingly friendly, satisfying, and delicious.  The smokiness that enveloped me in the parking lot was not lost on the ribs, and while J said the sauce wasn't the best she's ever had, I can't remember sauce that was much better.

J's job is to hunt down great eats and Hogs on the Hill proves that she's very good at it.  That makes my job easy.  All I have to do is follow her lead.  I'd suggest you do the same.

Food Wine & Co.

We were looking for a place to have dinner in Bethesda and I asked several Bethesdans for recommendations.  Nearly every restaurant they suggested is a suburban twin of a restaurant in downtown DC:  Jaleo, Taylor Gourmet, Nando's, Mussel Bar, and BGR.  We like all of those places, but we don't need to leave our neighborhood for them.  Wanting to try something unique to Bethesda, we settled on Food Wine & Co. near the Metro station.

Food Wine & Co. is located in the old Uno Chicago Grill space and rumor is that they spent $2 million fancifying it.  It's a comfortable space with big, wide booths and pretty lights, but I'm not sure it's $2 million different from the chain that preceded it.

We settled into our corner booth and ordered drinks.  I ordered a flight of 3 different wines that were all just average.  The flight of 3 wines was served on a flight board with 4 spaces on it, so they served a wine glass full of water to even out the board.  Weird.  B selected a beer flight of four 4 ounce pours.  We liked the wide beer selection and the ability to sample different beers rather than committing to one. 

After spying it on other tables, we ordered the fried artichoke appetizer.  The artichokes had a perfectly light and crisp coating which gave us high hopes for the meal ahead.  The sauce was too caper-heavy for my liking but if you're a caper-crusader, you'll dig this. 

I ordered a salad off of the specials menu which was too heavy on the sweetness (figs and plums) and not heavy enough on the savory.
 

B's lamb burger with harissa, tomato confit, arugula and garlic mayo was good but nothing worth going to Bethesda for.  Also, we paid an additional couple of dollars to upgrade to the fries and they were quite possibly the most uninterestingly bland fries on the planet.  Do yourself a favor and stick with the rosemary-parmesan chips that come with the burger.
 

My roasted peach, arugula, blue cheese, balsamic pizza was, as the menu says, "crispy, doughy, delish."  I like my pizza dough chewy and fat, and this delivered.

Overall, we had a perfectly "fine" meal at Food Wine & Co. I would not recommend traveling from afar to eat there (though the free parking is a nice perk) and I'm not even sure I would recommend it if you live close by (go to Black's or any of the other DC-based options mentioned above).  I suppose if you've tried everything in town and want some straightforward American comfort food, Food Wine & Co. is your place.

Second Thoughts from B

The fried artichoke was far and away the big winner of our night.  This is a dish we discovered during our time in Rome and will not soon forget.  The Food Wine & Co. version wasn't close to being as good as the original, but it wasn't a dish to turn your nose up at either.  It is unfair to compare the two dishes because of the untouchable awesomeness of the Italian original, so to say that it reminded us of one of our great culinary discoveries from the last year, is a compliment.

The beer flight was interesting.  Not good, not bad, just interesting.  Each of the four beers were unlike anything I have tasted, but also, unlike anything I would ever choose to order again. Herby, fruity, chocolatey... gimmicky.  It was like a lot of modern art... Not necessarily beautiful, but interesting.

Now to the burger.  Aside from the harissa, it was completely forgettable.  Only this tiny touch of North African paste made it unique.  See a trend starting to emerge here?

Atlantis Family Restaurant

The night before a backpacking trip to Shenandoah, we were out in Virginia going to REI (for the 16th time that month) and looking for dinner.  B suggested pasta/Italian so I googled around until I found Atlantis Family Restaurant.  From the website it seemed sufficiently low-key and homestyle.  As we pulled into the parking lot we realized that we'd been to Atlantis before to break a Ramadan fast with our friend's family. While we debated what we'd ordered on our last visit, I don't think there was any forgetting the lovely murals:

Wait a second.  Didn't I say that this was an Italian restaurant?  Why are there Greek murals on the wall?  Despite a web address of "AlexandriaItalianFood.Com," Atlantis is actually a Greek and Italian restaurant.  Actually, their menu is kind of all over the place ranging from gyros to pasta to fried chicken to BBQ.  B insisted on taking a picture of me behind their giant menu.  Here you go:

We stuck to our plan and ordered two dishes from the Italian section of the menu: lasagna for B and baked spaghetti for me.  I giggled and immediately launched into a rousing rendition of "On Top of Old Smoky" when my dish was set before me.

Timeout. I always thought the song went "On top of old smoky, all covered with cheese. I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed."  Apparently that's a parody of a classic folk song and the parody lyrics are "On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese..."  Oops, makes more sense now.  Time in.

These dishes were ridiculous in a lot of ways (giant, covered in way too much cheese, etc.) but somehow were exactly what we were looking for.  It wasn't Michelin quality food and it wasn't creative, but it was satisfying in a down-home way.  Served with a side of cheesy murals and a menu the size of Florida, what more could you want?

Second Thoughts from B

I don't know if it is because I work with a bunch of middle-aged women or if it is an East Coast thing or what, but I feel like I need to explain what we mean by "backpacking."  We're talking about piling all your Earthly possessions into a backpack and hiking many miles into the wilderness for a few days.  This should not be confused with "camping" which also involves tents and dirt, but is often done next to a car and/or some sort of bathroom (albeit primitive).  The point is, when you're backpacking, you have to minimize risk because civilization is many miles and many hours away in case of an emergency... medical or you know, the kind that requires plumbing.

So when J asked where I wanted to eat the night before 3 days in the woods, I went with the safest choice.  Pasta.  I didn't want some exotic meat, I didn't want anything piled with jalapenos, and I sure didn't want something covered in grease.  I wanted something that would be filling (after all, we'd be eating dehydrated meals all weekend) and easily digestible.  For us, Atlantis was the pragmatic choice.

Friday night at Atlantis was hopping.  While we were playing it safe, it seemed to be date night for people who ventured to this strip mall "gem" in search of fine dining.  I don't know how to put this delicately, so at the risk of making a Romney-esque 47% gaffe, let's just replay a conversation between the waitress and the table next to us:

"You got Sweet Tea?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"How 'bout Mountain Dew?"

"Nope."

"Jack Daniels?"

"Sorry sir..."

"I think we'll take our meal to go."

I don't say any of this to put down Atlantis or its clientele.  Quite the opposite in fact.  It isn't the fanciest choice out there and it isn't trying to be.  It is called a "family restaurant" for a reason.  It has everything you need and nothing you don't.  (Yes, I said it.  No one needs Sweet Tea, Mountain Dew or Jack Daniels)  It is exactly the type of place that I would have adored as a kid.  And in a way, the big kid inside me thinks Atlantis - with its goofy murals, gigantic menu, and satisfying large portions - is some kind of awesome.

Perry's Drag Brunch

If you're looking for something unique for Sunday brunch, look no further than Perry's in Adams Morgan.  Every Sunday people line up for Perry's $23.95 all-you-can-eat buffet featuring performances by about a half dozen drag queens. Seriously.

Our awesome friends M and A live down the street from Perry's so they got in line just before 9 a.m. and were second in line.  The doors opened promptly at 10 a.m. and we were ushered upstairs to our table.   

A line immediately formed for the buffet as waiters dashed around taking drink orders (they do pitchers of alcoholic beverages that are not included in the brunch price). 

The buffet featured an interesting selection of items from chicken to waffles....

...to sushi and pasta.

While none of the food was super amazing, it was all decently tasty and made even better when washed down with a bellini with 8,734 cherries in it. 

At 11 a.m. the music started. One by one, the queens strutted out.  Some were into the lip synching and dancing while others focused on embarrassing the audience members.

Make sure you come with dollar bills in hand to tip the queens.  Quick tip: if you don't want to be the focus of the queens' shtick (or breasts), don't sit on the aisle. Instead, choose a seat at your table that's up against a wall or smashed in by another table and not accessible.  Or else, you'll be this guy:

In the midst of the strutting and semi-dancing, one queen took the mic and interviewed birthday boys and girls.  Not a good idea to volunteer if you don't want to be completely embarassed (or if you're not completely drunk). 

Overall, the drag brunch was a fun experience that we're glad we can check off our DC Bucket List. We were a little disappointed in the lack of "performance" by a lot of the queens.  Some seemed to be going through the motions and totally uninterested.  The fact that it was 11 a.m. in a brightly lit room probably took away from the mystique of it all.  Bottom line: a fun thing to do once, but not a place we need to return.

Second Thoughts from B

Well, that was interesting.  And to be honest, I don't know what more I can say.  But I guess I can share some lessons learned (in no particular order):

1. Do not anger the older, testy drag queen that resembles Muhammad Ali after the Thrilla in Manila.
2. The bowl of gravy by the biscuits is safe to eat by the spoonful as it is actually broccoli and cauliflower soup.
3. In case you're asked -- which you will be -- BBC stands for Big Black... uh, Chicken... just like OPP stands for Other People's Property.  Unlike Perry's Drag Brunch, this blog is safe for children.
4. Any of the meat on a stick and pastry options are your best bets.  The orzo pasta was pretty good too.
5. However you react to the queens, probably good not to go with "lusty glare."  It isn't a good look when there is that much light and sobriety in the room.
6. Despite all stereotypes to the contrary, Mr. Bass Pro Shops and family seemed to have a good time.  Still, the camouflaged fishing hat complete with hook on the bill was a surprising choice... as was bringing the 13 year old granddaughter.
7. Nothing good comes from raising your hand when they ask, "Do we have any straight guys in the audience today?"
8. Man or woman, I'm always impressed when someone in high heels drops down into the splits.
9. Whether your Sunday mornings involve drag queens or not, you have to love that we live in a city where it is an integral part of the culture.  Thank you Perry's for adding some color to DC!